There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
