The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
