No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize