Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
