I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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