i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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