THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
