I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
