the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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