I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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