i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
