I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
