I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
