I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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