Non-Jews are for practice
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
worst night to have a conscience
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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