After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
try to milk me bitch
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
