I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize