at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
