and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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