Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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