I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You took a bar mat shot.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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