she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
