Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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