a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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