You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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