Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize