His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
