im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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