OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
