I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Pants are for mortals
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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