You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
