Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
