Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
