i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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