I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
