You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
