Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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