I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
