He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
