well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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