Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize