Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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