11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize