is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
