Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
