i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
