I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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