He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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