Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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