There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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