I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
