Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
