I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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