so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
