I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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