we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
