North Korea, Best Korea!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
