Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
