youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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