Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
