I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she told me i tasted like america
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
