Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
