he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
