is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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