i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
